


hold my hand (and make me forget)

by thominewt (obliviate1d)



Category: X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: Apocalypse
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, M/M, More tags will be added as the story goes, Post Apocalypse, Spoilers for X-Men Apocalypse!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 05:47:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7254970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obliviate1d/pseuds/thominewt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>erik lehnsherr lost everything and he wants to remember nothing</p>
            </blockquote>





	hold my hand (and make me forget)

**Author's Note:**

> WOOOOP another fic. this is my first work about charles and erik and its been sitting on my draft since i first watched the movie. although ive loved their relationship since fist class, i never actually thought of making any fics. but xma just got me. 
> 
> and this is _heavily_ unbetaed

_Jika wangimu saja bisa memindahkan duniaku_

_Maka cintamu pasti bisa mengubah jalan hidupku_

_Cukup sekali saja kupernah merasa betapa menyiksa_

_kehilanganmu_

_Kau takkan terganti, kau yang selalu ku nanti_

_Takkanku lepas lagi_

_Pegang tanganku bersama jatuh cinta_

_Sama indahnya_

**_Raisa – Kali Kedua_ **

It’s the first night since Nina and Magda’s death and Erik couldn’t sleep. His hands are shaking so badly that he had to close and clench them to make it stop. There are still dirt and dried blood on his nails, making them obvious evidences that he had just buried the two most important people in his life. The two people that had made him believe that there is still a purpose of living; that he could still be happy even after what he has done. But, no, the world is only fair to anyone but him.

 _Is this what you want from me?_ Erik had said as he clung to the lifeless body of his loved ones, surrounded  by a dozen of policeman that he had killed, _is this what I am?_

Erik had never wanted to be that man again, be _Magneto._ That part of him was long gone, slowly replaced by his happier self as Magda came into his life. And when Nina joined into the picture, oh sweet, little Nina, it was like Magneto never even existed. He was so careful with them, having promised himself to never repeat what had happened to his mother.

They had been so careful, Erik and Magda, building their home with anything but metal to avoid accidents that he could cause.  It is a sickening thought that what hurt them hadn’t been his power, but _himself_. His sole existence only brings catastrophe for others that he couldn’t help but wish he had never been gifted—no, _cursed_ , with the damned power in the first place. He would have never harm those he loves; _mama,_ Magda, Nina, Charles.

_Charles._

Erik shuddered as his brain projected that day on the beach. _Cuba._ _War. Charles. Hurt. His fault._ He closed his eyes tightly, lowering his head as if to block the images of Charles behind him, screaming in pain as the bullet hit his spine. He had rushed over to Charles’ side, hoping, _begging_ for Charles to not be hurt. _Not again, please, not again,_ he remembered muttering lowly to himself as he struggled to pull the bullet out. No matter how hard Erik tries to protect them, the results will always be the contrary.

Erik stands up from his wooden chair and makes his way to the main bedroom. Everything remains the same; an opened trunk still half filled is a reminder of what they had been doing before it all turns to chaos. If only they left sooner, _if only_. The anger builds up inside him once again, and he levitates a silver box, one of the very few metal sitting around his house, from an opened drawer and lifts the lid. Hidden beneath papers, passports, and pictures are a silver coin, and a half part of what used to be a bullet. Erik takes both of them with his right hand, blinking back angry tears as he pulls out Nina’s locket and Magda’s wedding ring with his left.

 _Four._ He had hurt four people that matters the most in his life. No more. He puts all four of the metals inside the box and shut it. His eyes are starting to hurt from too much crying, and he goes to the bathroom to wash his face. The moment his eyes lands on his reflection, he catches his own breath. His eyes are shockingly swollen, hair here and there because he had grasped them quite hard, and there are cuts along his lips from where he had bitten them. He splashes some water on his face once again and retreats back to his bedroom.

He could have sworn he heard Nina’s laugh as he passes her room and he stops short. He opens the slightly ajar door and comes inside and pictures himself only a night ago, singing his mother’s lullaby to her on the bed right in front of him. For merely a second, he could see her. He could see his Nina laying there on the bed, hugging her teddy bear, sleeping peacefully. The image disappears as fast as it comes and he is back inside the room that seems to be too much for him. He doesn’t move for awhile and tries to normalize his breathing. It doesn’t seem to work because all he could feel now are nothing but rage and grief.

He doesn’t think twice before he returns to his room and packs everything he needs before leaving the house. Without so much as a second glance, Erik shut the front door and walks away.

His legs feel numb as he makes his way to Magda and Nina’s grave. He had buried them close to the river, where Nina first discovered her power. She had been ecstatic, laughing freely as birds and deer surrounded her. But Erik had been scared. He didn’t want Nina to possess any power that could only bring her misery when she got older, but Magda had calmed him down and told him that there was nothing to be scared of. She believed that Nina will still be accepted in society as much as he did, just as long as she knew how to fully control her power. He had thought about how much Magda sounded like Charles and told her exactly that. She only smiled knowingly before she called for Nina to finish her lunch.

The sound of birds flapping their wings pulls him back into reality and he looks ahead to see birds surrounding Nina’s grave. He could hear his own footsteps as he approaches the slightly dented ground and falls down. He sits there without making a noise, his eyes empty as he stares ahead.

He remembers his decision of trying Charles’ way. He remembers his decision of trying Charles’ way, and Erik wonders, whether he'd end up like this had he not chosen to take on the peaceful life. Would he still had the chance to meet Magda? Marry her and brought Nina into this world? The thought once again scares him and he starts to wonder if he is better off without feeling compassion to anyone.

The answer is yes. Nothing good comes from loving Erik Lehnsherr.

**Author's Note:**

> it'll be quite a long process before the actual story happens. so please do stick around for the next chapters. just click on the subscribe button to be notified for new chapters! comments and kudos would definitely be awesome!!
> 
> if you are able to beta this fic, please contact me here on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kingcharIes)


End file.
